Absolutely, it's all relative

You saw it here first folks (well second actually because it was posted on the sublimely rich and wonderful arXiv.org first).

Jean-Marc Oury and Bruno Heintz's paper titled The Absolute Relativity Theory, brings you the first "presentation of a new approach of physics, that we propose to refer to as the Absolute Relativity Theory."

What does that mean? Well their abstract explains:
"This approach is founded on the refutation of the old idea that our universe can be seen as a space-time, whatever structure it is equipped with, that contains or supports “observers” and “observables”. Instead, the theory begins by exploring what should be, from an algebraic point of view, a consistent theory able to represent the “observation” processes and, in some sense, as complete as possible."

It is a 70-page behemoth but I thought you would all be interested. Once I make my way through it all I will break it down for you as best I can, it may take a while though as it is really hard to turn pages without fingers. Lucky bastards you human.